Venues, Venues, Venues

Task 10 out of 188: Scout reception sites in your area until you find the perfect reception location

Complete: 9-11 months out from wedding

[Theknot.com]

So I’m working on the general details of the wedding and now I’m starting to check off things on my list; Wedding Date, Check! Budget, Check! Toning up, in Progress! The Dress, in progress too! Location…Location…LOCATION!? Where to have a wedding is as important as the show stopping dress in the wedding.  Should the wedding be at your place of worship?  How about at a unique location like under the St. Louis Arch?   What about a destination wedding in some exotic place like Aruba? As I have worked through the ups and downs of possible locations, I figured I would share some things that have helped me to narrow down my location choices.

Place of Worship

Choosing the place of worship is usually a top choice with Brides that I know.  Depending upon the religion, these locations can be elaborate, new and gorgeous to more traditional, aged beauties that are engraved into family history books.  Something to think about when figuring out if your place of worship works best for your occasion is to take into account the actual size of the wedding.  Will it fit the wedding party and guests comfortably or will some adjustments need to be made?  And will there be areas to set-up for the rituals like the unity candle, symbolic food tasting, jumping the broom or breaking the glass?  One may even need to think about whether to have the reception in the same place or move off-site. Your place of worship can be a very personal touch to the wedding and a classic back drop for your photos. 

  

Unique Venues

When I think of unique venues, I think of spectacular sites like the New York Public Library from the movie “Sex in the City” or maybe in front of a sea of fish like at the Georgia Aquarium in Atlanta, GA.  Unique venues are those that most would never choose but probably mean more to the couple then to anyone else in the world.  I’ve heard of a couple who decided to bungee jumped off of a bridge, why? Of course that was the first place they met.  That sounds crazy to me, but I’m sure in their eyes there could have never been another place. The one concern that I have with unique venues is whether or not to decorate. Usually the scenery should be enough but should there be flowers, balloons or anything else? Cynthia Bailey from Atlanta Housewives got married at the Fern Bank in Atlanta under the bones of a T Rex. I would say in that instance, no decorations needed

Destination Weddings

W.O.W. or Wonderful Out-of-Country Weddings are special to each couple! Most destination weddings happen on the beach with the ocean in the background or amongst the vineyards and valleys in France.  They are usually smaller weddings at a higher price per person. But no matter the price they never disappoint. With the blue-green sea behind and the soft sand under your feet, or even a rustic castle surrounding the ceremony, the couple and guests are in a relaxed vacation mood easing into a day of celebration.  There are several things to consider when choosing a destination wedding.  One decision that has already been touched on is the size.  Many family members and friends may not be able to put up the dollar amount so if you want a beachside large wedding, going stateside may work best.  For those weddings not stateside, things to consider are the need of passports, inclusive vs. individual costs, or even the constraints of the overall budget.  In my opinion, I love destination weddings, I have yet to make one but I look forward to relaxing on the beach and watching love roll in with each tide.

The wedding day, for most, is just one day. Be sure to pick a location that speaks to the value of the relationship and also that matches the atmosphere desired for the day. Love is in the air so be sure to catch it all during your day!

Saying Yes to the Dress is Not as Easy as it May Seem

Task 10 out of 188: Envision Your Wedding Dress! (It’s never too early!)

Complete: 12+ months before wedding
[theknot.com]

Most brides have a vision of the PERFECT DRESS. I, however, fell in the low percentage of those who had no clue what would work best with my body type. For someone in the same situation there are several ideas that can help to narrow down the search.

Price is definitely the first thing that I finalized.  The hardest thing for brides to do is remain within their budget; walking into a bridal store can be as exciting as a kid at Disneyland. My best advice on price is once the decision is made on the price range DO NOT, let me repeat DO NOT, try on dresses out of that range.  You will set yourself up for a major crisis. It’s like walking into Wal-Mart for one item; it sounds good but you are sure to get sucked into spending much more than you need.

Style is unique for each bride. Based off of age, religion, body type, hell even mood, picking a dress style can be very overwhelming. Impression Bridal, a Texas based bridal designer and my dress designer, provides a style guide to finding the right dress options for your body type. Here are a few snippets from the style guide:

Apple Shape

An apple body shape fits those who hold a large frame with both a full lower half and torso with little waist definition.  The most flattering dress style would be an Empire or Ball Gown dress with a strapless or sweetheart neckline. The idea is to have a relaxed fitting skirt and create a better defined waist.

Hourglass Shape

The hourglass a.k.a. coke bottle b.k.a. the “thick” (in urban America)body shape has been more traditionally described as the measurements of 24-36-24.  These women carry a proportioned or curvy top and lower half with a defined waistline. This body type will look good in any of the styles; Sheath, A-line, Ball Gown, Dropped Waistline, and Mermaid/Fit-n-Flare.  The best neckline would either be the one-shoulder, strapless or scoop neck. So in other words, if you have it flaunt it!

Pear Shape

Pear shape is when the bottom half (hips, thighs, and butt) are larger than the upper half. Suggested styles are A-line and Ball Gowns with strapless or halter necklines.  In my opinion this has become a much more popular body shape thanks to J-Lo and Beyoncé!  Thanks ladies.

[Find more descriptions in Impression's Style Guide]

Color would seem to be a much easier choice to make however in Weddingland white is not just plain white! Wedding dress can be found in various colors ranging from the tradition white or mother-of-pearl to the un-traditional black or even red.  Wedding dresses can be as dazzling and laced out like that of Chelsea Clinton to the more tone down and relax look of Rene Zellweger.

                                                                                                                                           

There are plenty of websites, television shows and magazines that can give you insights on THE PERFECT dress but I say just go out and start trying things on.  Make sure when you do start your dress shopping, be sure to bring a good, honest friend, family member or group of people.  You have to have people who can do nothing but keep it real. In the end, the dress choice is yours but I’m sure looking good from the outside in is as important.

Sometimes, we women have our minds set on a particular style and color but until we step out of our zones and try those things that we never really thought about, do we then really find our best matches (by the way, this notion doesn't just fit dress shopping *wink*).  I found my dress after two stores, 12 dresses and 3 close family members.  I think I was lucky but either way no matter the number of stores, amount of test dresses or the numbers of members in the trial audience, the perfect dress is out there!   #inspirationweddingvitamin

The Movement Towards a Healthier Life Style

Task 7 out of 188: Get in wedding day shape by eating right, joining a gym, and/or even hiring a personal trainer

Complete: 12+ months before wedding

Let me first start off this post by stating that getting in shape or healthy, however you may state it, should not be just for a special occasion but it should be a complete lifestyle change.  Sure, using an occasion to get you motivated is an excellent idea, nonetheless the behavior should continue far past just a certain specified time period.  Healthier habits produce a longer life and, in many cases, a happier life.  

Our First Lady, Michelle Obama, celebrated the one year anniversary of her Let's Move Campaign, where she is striving for all Americans, especially students, to take on healthier habits including exercising and eating right. She spoke today at an African American church in an attempt to reach out to a culture deep in traditional and unhealthy cuisine creations.  Every culture has their traditional, saturated food selections, which may be consumed mostly on holidays.  In mine, butter is a key ingredient; butter in and on cornbread, butter to sauté any vegetable and plenty of butter in desserts.  Everyone loves butter, just look at all of Paula Dean’s recipes, and I do mean ALL!  However, there are many substitutes that would suffice too such as margarine, olive oil and others.  Or even consuming smaller portions will help cut calories and fat intake but this may seem like a much harder concept to grasp with such tasty food.  The key to changing habits is to do change in moderation but stick to the plan.  I am actually going into my second week of hitting the gym and as much as my legs, arms, butt and stomach are telling me to take a break I won't.  Why? Because "won't" or "can't" need to fall out of my vocab because all they do is hold back progress. I am progressing to achieve a healthier lifestyle because I want to be around for my grandkids and great-grandkids! 

Society wonders why our kids are obese but the answer is very simple; because we let them.  We have to become models ourselves and help guide our children to stronger, longer and healthier lives.  I'm striving for a healthy mind, body and soul; I'm mastering #2 and pushing towards #1 and #3.  Where are you at in your trifecta?

Try this Recipe
Since I'm a pasta connoisseur...ok an all-around food connoisseur, I've chosen a great and healthy dish for you to try. I promise it is great! Thanks FOOD NETWORK!

Chicken-Zucchini Alfredo

Ingredients

• Kosher salt
• 3 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
• 2 cloves garlic, minced
• 2 zucchini, thinly sliced into half-moons
• 4 4-ounce thin skinless, boneless chicken breasts
• Freshly ground pepper
• 12 ounces fettuccine (preferably whole wheat)
• 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
• 1 cup cold low-fat milk (1%)
• 1/2 cup evaporated nonfat milk
• 3/4 cup freshly grated parmesan cheese
• 1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley

Directions

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in a nonstick skillet over medium heat. Add 1 clove garlic and cook 30 seconds. Add the zucchini, cover and cook until tender, stirring, about 6 minutes. Transfer to a bowl.

Heat another tablespoon oil in the skillet over medium-high heat. Season the chicken with 1/4 teaspoon each salt and pepper and cook through, 2 to 3 minutes per side. Transfer to a plate.

Cook the pasta in the boiling water as the label directs. Drain, reserving 1/2 cup cooking water; return the pasta to the pot.

Meanwhile, whisk the flour and low-fat milk in a bowl. Place the remaining 1 clove garlic and 1 tablespoon oil in the skillet and cook over medium-high heat, 30 seconds. Add the flour-milk mixture and bring to a boil, stirring. Reduce the heat to low and cook, stirring, 2 minutes. Add the evaporated milk, 1/2 teaspoon salt and the cheese; stir to melt, 1 minute.

Cut the chicken into strips. Toss with the pasta, sauce, zucchini and parsley, adding the reserved pasta water to loosen.

Per serving: Calories 680; Fat 18 g (Saturated 5 g); Cholesterol 85 mg; Sodium 820 mg; Carbohydrate 79 g; Fiber 3 g; Protein 49 g

Mo Money, Mo Money, MO!

Task 4 out of 188: Decide on a Wedding Budget and Hash Out Who is Going to Contribute

Complete: 12+ months before wedding

So after you come down from Cloud 9 about the proposal, and you have started to think about general ideas and dates, you then have to use your magic 8 ball to figure out how much your wedding is going to be. This is damn near ridiculous.  For someone like myself, who not only has no inkling of how much a wedding should be it has been almost impossible to actually create a standing budget.  Sure, TheKnot.com gives me examples of budgets around 10K, but these budgets include tennis shoes, school buses and tons of DIY (do it yourself) items, but to plan for more than 100 people, 10K seems non-existent. 


The average wedding hits at around $27K...Chelsea Clinton's wedding was over 3 million and who knows how much Kate and Prince William’s wedding will be.  So then I ask the question; is paying all that money for one day worth it. Answer: I don't know.  Honestly, I believe if anyone has the desire to pay any large amount of money for their wedding, it is surely their prerogative. However, if someone decides to have a costly wedding and proceeds to remain in debt, years to follow the wedding, I would have to say that's not too smart...ok...just plain dumb. Money is one of the top reasons why people get a divorce, soooo why would anyone want to start out a marriage with a top reason to leave it.  There are many was to cut corners but in the end if things aren't adding up or financial stress levels are through the roof , then there is no need to place a burden on what is supposed to be a happy union. 


I must go back to the basics on this; the reason for the wedding is to move the relationship to the next level.  It is up to the couple to figure out what that next level may contain; kids, trips, family reunions, debt...IDK.  I hope every Bride and Groom in this situation keep to the big picture and remember not to sweat the small stuff. Money only goes so far; does it make you or break you?  #foodforthought

I say we all need to enjoy a wedding like the one below!

Let the Decisions Begin...

Tasks 2 out of 188: Choose a wedding date!

Complete: 12+ months before wedding

So, it was the day after the proposal and I'm being asked by a million in one people "So when is the wedding?" Really...I'm supposed to figure that out so soon.  Answer: YES! There are so many reasons to do this early including:

• Letting relatives know as soon as possible is definitely a benefit when it come so their travel planning
• If you have friends who are in those busy industries, medical, construction, streetwalkers (I don't judge) they need to be able to take off 6 months to a year early
• You will be able to get a whiff of how stress out you may get based on the gap of time between the engagement and the wedding
• And lastly, so that people can stop asking you about the date! You can always change it if you need to.

It seems like each couple has various reasons why they chose their date.  I have heard reasons from "It's the day we first kissed" to "I don't know, it's just the last Saturday in the month".  TheKnot.com believes that the date should involve approval from parents, important guests and other important relatives.  I believe that it's ok to get advice from those important individuals in your life but the day that you choose to begin that next stage in your life should be based on what you and your partner value.  As long as you both can agree on the date, then it will be the perfect day.  It's that simple. 

As I'm learning, it is very easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of colors, food and attire but for anything to have meaning, I have to remain grounded in my relationship; everything must be a true reflection of us and nothing less. 

Welcome and Watch Your Step!

I have entered into this new year with new responsibilities; holding down a new position at work, daily house maintenance on a new home and now a new role in life, FIANCE'!  Even at my age, 27, marriage seemed like such far-fetched thought but who knew the tom-boy who loved to hang with boys on the corner would grow up to become someone's wifey!  Well it's true and here I am. And in the mist of finding out what additional responsibilities come with this new role, I have to plan a wedding.




I have almost a year and half to plan this event and even though this may seem like a long time away, I have no damn idea where to even start.  So to help me get through my mission I sought out guidance from one of the best wedding planning websites, The Knot.com.  After joining the website all I could say is "WHOA"! There are 188 "suggested" tasks to be completed all the way up to the wedding day.  WTH!


I've already started through some small tasks and I am noticing that this new Weddingland that I have entered is not only foreign to me but also CRAZY...no really...CRAZY! I have several women that I have watched and are watching go through the planning process and they all have started losing their minds, to some point.  Well here comes the importance of this blog; I believe that by talking about the mysteries that come with this land, I can better cope with all the new and unknown issues that I'm going to have to face down in this process.  And with that motive, I hope to remain SANE in all this INSANITY!


So, I welcome you to come and take this trip into to this place of linens, toasts, and budgets (oh my)...It's going to be a bumping ride so hold on tight!