Guest Lists Can Be the Pits!

Task 20 out of 188: Start your guest list! Decide approximately how many people you want to invite. Request "wish lists" from both sets of parents, then compile.

Complete: 9-11 months prior to wedding [theknot.com]

Let me tell if you, if creating the guest list is not half of the journey in wedding planning, I’m not sure I can make it through the rest. I have heard various ways, reasons and comments alone about how disastrous a list can be. Stressed is evoked just by the thought of having to make such a decision when it comes to family, friends or even associates. There are many reasons for solidifying the guest list early on, the top being to stay within budget, and there are ways to weed your guest list in order to remain within that budget. Let’s start with the AB strategy.

A + B = Wedding Invite

Staying within budget is always easier said than done especially when you have a huge family, a large circle of friends or a network of associates from work or just from social gatherings. Usually creating the budget comes out of thin air so how do you even gauge how much to spend per person? One way of attempting this seemly impossible chore is to adapt with the pricing of the venue. When you know the budget and after you score the venue of your choice at the price you want, go back through your list and separate out what would be you’re A and B list. You’re A list are those individuals you really want and definitely have to have at your reception. The B list is used to take the places of those A-listers who will not be able to attend. This way you will meet the number you agreed to in the contract and give as many people as you can a chance to attend. Another choice, which is one of the hardest, would be to decide between inviting those to both the ceremony and reception and those just to the ceremony. This may be harder if you are having both in the same area; if this is the case, I do not advise going with this option. If the AB strategy stumps or the partial invite discourages you, you can always go with weeding by location.

Weed by Locations

Choosing between planning a destination wedding or a local wedding is easier to do once you think about how many guest you want to attend. For some couples who would enjoy a quiet and small wedding, a destination wedding may work best. Remember a destination wedding is any wedding that is not in the hometown or current location of either couple, which means that more than like neither friend nor family will be residents of the city. Destination weddings can get costly both for the couple and for any attendees but may be worth it if you are in need of a vacation. Destination weddings are usually attended by close family (mom, dad, sisters and brothers) and close friends (BFFs, roommates or co-workers). Sometimes close extended family and friends are invited but usually the number stays under 50 attendants. If you are thinking about choosing this type of wedding you really have figure out the age ( elder family may not be able to travel), health (does anyone have health issues that could keep them grounded) and opportunity (finances may be a significant factor) for family and friends to attend.

On the other end of the spectrum would be to have the wedding where ALL or at least the majority of the family and friends can attend. Usually this location is the home town of either partner or in my case both. The apparent issue with this is the inability to limit the guest list. Sometimes asking for what you want can be overwhelming and wanting a lot of family and friends gets costly! Remember, you will also need to get the address of everyone on the list. For some, having a large amount of family and friends is top priority when it comes to wedding planning, no matter what the budget may state. The idea of sharing that moment in time with all your love ones could very well be priceless in the long run. If you have a small family, this may be the best choice and most cost efficient choice for all parties involved.

My advice; be cautious of the guest list! Early on it may seem easy as pie but as time moves by it may seem like you opened Pandora’s Box. I honestly believe that if you have a good and solid foundation with family and friends either decision, whether they make the list or not, would work out just fine. Most understand that weddings cost, and aren’t usually cheap so try not to stress yourself about Cousin Johnny or Aunt Sue. Communicate, coordinate and conquer your guest list fears!